Last person to cry for

I sat in the car until the time was 6 PM. I had to wait until it was sufficient enough of time passed before the metering mates were no longer trolling for more tickets.

He texted me to ask where I was. I arrived just a few minutes after.

After dinner we went back to his place where he took me. I told him that I loved him and he told me that he loved me too.

When the night was fallen I was going to leave but he fell asleep, and so did I.

We do this every time. Eat. Sex. Dinner.

I fall in love with this man each and every time.

This is going to be the end. I think. And I do not know how to tell him more than I already did. 

"I would love you until the day I die. Tell me that you want me to be with you. Tell me to take the leap of faith. Tell me to create this is complicated, integrated life that we so both deserve. Tell me that I should stop worrying about my hopes are all false. Tell me that we should be together. Tell me. And I will do. Tell me. And I will leave everything behind. To be with you."

But I did not tell him. I had never told him that way.

I simply left the next time. Kissing him good bye. Going about my day. When all is set and done, nothing would change.

I often cry. I often cry for him. for me. And if anyone asks me what I want out of life, if I was happy. I tell them I am. And I'm fine just the way I am. But I cry. I cry for the love I'd ever that was complete. I cry because we'd never be together. And I am certain that I cannot love anyone else, the way I love him. This is the last person I shall ever cry for.