Muji, Mechanical Pencil

I found Muji. 549 9th Street, next to Bryant. Opened in November 2012, and just spotted it. Was recently passing JFK and saw it in the terminal. I was in the one in Singapore and Paris, and New York of course but never in San Francisco. It's always been one of those places that secretively gotten me off. I like good looking stationary, even though I don't write often, certainly not in real pens. I type, mostly. Because I'm a leftie who was forced to write right handed in a country where being a leftie might as well be as strange as a three headed beast. Got so excited about finding 2 Way Mechanical Pen + 5 Colors Ballpoint Pen, called someone who would appreciate it. I thought he'd appreciate it, because he is really into note taking and often go to Japan town to find one of kind pens and pencils. A man who appreciates finer things in life. A man who appreciates pens and pencils and stationary. A man who is neat, organized, decisive, eccentric, not into sports, but into artistic things.

So he answered the phone right away. "So you called me to tell me about pens you found."
I said, "Yes. And I want to send you a link to Muji page. It's got five colors and a mechanical pencil. It's only $5.95. And I plan to stop by the store on my way over. Unless you want to come with."

Man does not want to go. He does not want to be with me where I had to pay for things. He only wants me to be with him in private. Never out. Never outside. Unlike the other. Who always want me to be seen with him. He does what he does. He has a definitive way about him. It's always, yes no, but no maybe's.

I said, "Fine. I'll just stop by and get you some."

"When should I come over?" I asked.

"Whenever you are out of work, just come by straight after work." He replied.

I ran out of things to say. I'm at work. I had exactly 10 minutes to say the things I want to say and I ran out of topics.

Man proceeded to tell me about the cop show he's watching from the 1960s. Describing it animatedly. Tomorrow he's working on a new project. He can talk about everything but his feelings. His feelings for me is conflicted. He can't go there. The less I share the more he wants.The more I share the less he can say anything. I have to stop pushing.

"Alright. My dear. Have a good day." He said.

I was going to visit him down south. Where he worked. I have not decided yes or not. He's so afraid of intimacy that he develops a headache if he is anticipating visits.

I have enough of emotions stored for the two of us. I need to park my emotions somewhere. Without someone, the other self withers. I cannot wither.