"Am I E?" Boy asked.
"No you are not." E was taken. I knew that.
I had everyone indexed. Everyone but Boy.
Boy was sick as a dog.
He was articulate still but drifted in and out of things.
I read my stories of him to him.
"Do you wonder how I feel about you?" He then asked.
"Yes." I said.
"You are the first person I met since I moved here, that reminded me of home. And since I met you, I started to think about a future."
"What do you mean about home? Am I the bridge between your past and your future?" I asked.
"No. It's because at home I have people I did things with that I enjoyed. I enjoyed nearly everything we did together." He elaborated.
"You don't like this, do you? You don't like pragmatic ways of describing things. You want romance. You want me to gently touch your face, your neck. you want romance. You want me to kiss your cheeks. I can give you that too." Boy was sick but not dumb. He's observant.
I read stories that I wrote about my love, B. I used to call him B. Boy knew his name. B's first name was Boy's middle name. Boy showed me his mother's photo. She looked quite a lot like the photo I saw at B's place. B's mother. They were both German. As I quickly learned.
I read "It has always been there" to Boy. Boy said, "This is so beautiful. I had not expected that." He critiqued a little bit but then he said, "You paint the world with your words. Your writing is so vivid."
I also wrote to record the stories that occurred between people and me. To keep my memory intact, I started to write down everything, just like B said that I ought to do. When I terminated my therapy sessions, I wrote even more, sometimes in multiple blogs to keep things separate and real.
Boy thought perhaps I was using him to get to B. I wanted to tell him that those days of "using" was long over. I had no interest in playing that game. I was sure of my feelings. I loved B and B only. I like being with Boy. He was an unique case. He did not bat for my team. Boy liked boys.
I liked Boy because he would never love me, like B did.
But Boy also had other encouraging characteristics.
Boy thought that I was special. I was the only person he felt that true connection with and the closest person he had on this side of the coast. He told his brother about me. His brother who apparently looked like Leonardo Dicaprio. "One day in a diner, someone approached him with a pad of paper and pen" In bed boy was wondering about his illness. What he had why he had not gotten better. He was not amused by my man flu video. He thought that I was making fun of him and he was upset. He snapped at me then by saying hurtful things but then tried to apologize. I ignored him until he panicked and texted me over and over again.
Boy did not make any plans to see me. He wanted to get better than we could do fun things. I did not make plan to see him because I didn't have time.
Boy grabbed my phone to record everything we'd done together since we first met.
List looked like this.
"About two minutes." It was about that.. It did not even take that long.
"No you are not." E was taken. I knew that.
I had everyone indexed. Everyone but Boy.
Boy was sick as a dog.
He was articulate still but drifted in and out of things.
I read my stories of him to him.
"Do you wonder how I feel about you?" He then asked.
"Yes." I said.
"You are the first person I met since I moved here, that reminded me of home. And since I met you, I started to think about a future."
"What do you mean about home? Am I the bridge between your past and your future?" I asked.
"No. It's because at home I have people I did things with that I enjoyed. I enjoyed nearly everything we did together." He elaborated.
"You don't like this, do you? You don't like pragmatic ways of describing things. You want romance. You want me to gently touch your face, your neck. you want romance. You want me to kiss your cheeks. I can give you that too." Boy was sick but not dumb. He's observant.
I read stories that I wrote about my love, B. I used to call him B. Boy knew his name. B's first name was Boy's middle name. Boy showed me his mother's photo. She looked quite a lot like the photo I saw at B's place. B's mother. They were both German. As I quickly learned.
I read "It has always been there" to Boy. Boy said, "This is so beautiful. I had not expected that." He critiqued a little bit but then he said, "You paint the world with your words. Your writing is so vivid."
I also wrote to record the stories that occurred between people and me. To keep my memory intact, I started to write down everything, just like B said that I ought to do. When I terminated my therapy sessions, I wrote even more, sometimes in multiple blogs to keep things separate and real.
Boy thought perhaps I was using him to get to B. I wanted to tell him that those days of "using" was long over. I had no interest in playing that game. I was sure of my feelings. I loved B and B only. I like being with Boy. He was an unique case. He did not bat for my team. Boy liked boys.
I liked Boy because he would never love me, like B did.
But Boy also had other encouraging characteristics.
Boy thought that I was special. I was the only person he felt that true connection with and the closest person he had on this side of the coast. He told his brother about me. His brother who apparently looked like Leonardo Dicaprio. "One day in a diner, someone approached him with a pad of paper and pen" In bed boy was wondering about his illness. What he had why he had not gotten better. He was not amused by my man flu video. He thought that I was making fun of him and he was upset. He snapped at me then by saying hurtful things but then tried to apologize. I ignored him until he panicked and texted me over and over again.
Boy did not make any plans to see me. He wanted to get better than we could do fun things. I did not make plan to see him because I didn't have time.
Boy grabbed my phone to record everything we'd done together since we first met.
List looked like this.
Blu drink
Hike
Naked Fish
Drink Oakland - District
Reported miles
Vista
Leopolds
Soup at the park
Kitchen fire
Stayed over
Haircut
Monkey king
Armory - beef jerky/wine
Sushi at purple roof
Stayed over wine & cheese
Berkeley Bowl
Pt. Reys Station
Driving BMW
Made fancy kale salad dinner
Falafel
Billy Collins
2nd dinner - Korean on telegraph
V stayed in 453
Uber to drop off
Return from bliZcon
Tuesday milk
Halu Wednesday
Saturday autumn Salon at johns
Green gulch zen center and miur beach
Uh oh .. Koreana plaza. Sickness!!
Visit. Tried poki and kombucha Russian, beard papa cream puffs, salad
"What is this?" I asked.
"Not writing. But recording. Key words so that I could remember every event."
Boy made me dinner but set the kitchen on fire.
We had cheapest vending machine food at the Armory one night, eating fifty cents jerky and having neighboring watchers to pass along their wine.
Twenty four times of unique times we spent together. All platonic, all events driven, all had meanings and purpose, all kosher.
What now? recorded events so that we could eventually tally everything up to justify this fast growing friendship.
His room was a huge mess but it took me about 2 minutes to clean it up. Dirty clothes in the hamper and shoes back in the clothset. I hang his rope and belt. I took out his cell phone from his jacket and put it on the charger. It had long been dead. Then I made a make shift garbage can in the form of shopping bag from the fancy food store in the mall.
Boy got up and was feeling shocked. "How long have you been cleaning?" He asked.
"About two minutes." It was about that.. It did not even take that long.
But boy was sick and time flew by when you pass out.
Boy reached his arm out to call for me. He wanted to lie next to me. Have me to read more stories. So I did. It put him to sleep.
My stories. my blog, send someone to sleep. How long would he be asleep before he woke up again?
Just before he fell asleep, he said, "I was going to not take Advil, until you got here, so you could see how sick I really was." He seemed to surround his action around me to either impress or prove a point.
I wanted boy to get better so that he could do things for me or with me.
We had something unusual forming. A different kind of relationship at last.
One that did not have a physical component but seemed brought the two of us closer.
Before I left for the evening, boy reached his arms out like a baby. He wanted me to hug him. So I did. Then he said, "What can I bring you next time?"
I sort of wanted to say to him, "I am not sure about next time. But we will see."
We had something unusual forming. A different kind of relationship at last.
One that did not have a physical component but seemed brought the two of us closer.
Before I left for the evening, boy reached his arms out like a baby. He wanted me to hug him. So I did. Then he said, "What can I bring you next time?"
I sort of wanted to say to him, "I am not sure about next time. But we will see."
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