He invited me to dinner, for my belated birthday, at a place by his work, it would be easy for him to get to, it would be easy for him to say goodbye, it would be easy, and it would be the end. I felt. Just when I started to fall again, to love him again, this happens. It always happens, it serves as a warning, that he was not good for me, good to me and he was only there because I could provide him with sexual pleasure.
I think that at some point, we became close. Closer than most, and closer than we had ever before. A short little trip that bonded us, a very bright future that consisted of him and me, yet he would not let it happen. He who preferred to living alone. I wish that it was the case always. I sensed that he did not have that many real friends. I sensed that he was always polite and comfortable around women. I sensed that he never felt the same of masculinity until he met me.
I think he has a real, romantic relationship with the woman whom he fathered two children with. I think he is cheating behind her back with me. I think when he said that she did not know about us, what he really meant was that they were actually together raising children and be a family. They not only do things together as a family, they are a family. She provides him with children, a house that she owns, a good career, and perhaps sex. He's only not getting laid on occasion, when she's tired, when she's no longer interested in sex because she's got two young children, he looks at other women. He kept his place for business reasons and probably uses is a tax write up. He does not tell her that he still keeps it to seduce women. He lives a very private life with her and the children, and I suspect when she found out that she was pregnant, almost immediately he moved in with her and started to have a life as a committed person, while he still uses all of those travel opportunities to screw around with other women, but in San Francisco, he is with her and her only, and with the occasional flirting around with other women like myself. I think he was very communicative when he needs to be and he shuts down when he knew he was attracting too much attention.
I think she watches him like a hawk and that's why he is not available to see me very much.
I think he does not tell her because he is worried about her finding out about me. I'm perfect for him because I will never cause a fuss.
I am beginning to see that there are a web of lies, and that everything that he presented to me was just so tiny bit of truth, and I remain a small little piece of entertainment.
And I'm tired, and I lost faith, and I am heart broken, and I'm quite honestly unable to trust him, ever again. If that's the case, then perhaps the real ending is near and I hesitate, to move forward. I am more inclined to just say good bye. Leave on a good term, because when there is no trust left, what is there to go on?
I think that at some point, we became close. Closer than most, and closer than we had ever before. A short little trip that bonded us, a very bright future that consisted of him and me, yet he would not let it happen. He who preferred to living alone. I wish that it was the case always. I sensed that he did not have that many real friends. I sensed that he was always polite and comfortable around women. I sensed that he never felt the same of masculinity until he met me.
I think he has a real, romantic relationship with the woman whom he fathered two children with. I think he is cheating behind her back with me. I think when he said that she did not know about us, what he really meant was that they were actually together raising children and be a family. They not only do things together as a family, they are a family. She provides him with children, a house that she owns, a good career, and perhaps sex. He's only not getting laid on occasion, when she's tired, when she's no longer interested in sex because she's got two young children, he looks at other women. He kept his place for business reasons and probably uses is a tax write up. He does not tell her that he still keeps it to seduce women. He lives a very private life with her and the children, and I suspect when she found out that she was pregnant, almost immediately he moved in with her and started to have a life as a committed person, while he still uses all of those travel opportunities to screw around with other women, but in San Francisco, he is with her and her only, and with the occasional flirting around with other women like myself. I think he was very communicative when he needs to be and he shuts down when he knew he was attracting too much attention.
I think she watches him like a hawk and that's why he is not available to see me very much.
I think he does not tell her because he is worried about her finding out about me. I'm perfect for him because I will never cause a fuss.
I am beginning to see that there are a web of lies, and that everything that he presented to me was just so tiny bit of truth, and I remain a small little piece of entertainment.
And I'm tired, and I lost faith, and I am heart broken, and I'm quite honestly unable to trust him, ever again. If that's the case, then perhaps the real ending is near and I hesitate, to move forward. I am more inclined to just say good bye. Leave on a good term, because when there is no trust left, what is there to go on?
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