She stopped by on the way to a Christmas day run. It was for the pagans. Those who did not celebrate the fine tradition of eating, opening presents and drinking. He did celebrate it. But she suspected that he waited for her and changed his plan, so that he could see her one last time. Men are strange that ways. If they feel a certain way about you, they will go out of your way to please you and care for you. She suspect he’s one of those men.
She brought pastries. Desserts. He said that he’d be going to a party later on. But she suspected that he did not in the end. He changed his plan to stay in town, so that he could see her one last time before she leaves town. But those were not easy things to say in front of him, and she kept these thoughts to herself.
She knew after all the assholes she’s been with, her luck was going to change for once. The idea was that at some point, a kind, available man would come along and rescue her from the mundane, the heartaches, the endless misery she’d felt. Something new. Brand spanking new.
He had a good voice. A slim built. A tall frame. Blue eyes. Dark hair. Dark framed glasses. His place not too tidy and not to messy. He kept it all to himself. With very few things acquired over the years.
He told her about his last two major relationships during breaks during their love making. He kissed her, touched her back and told her his stories. She felt that she could be a replacement but she did not dwell.
Asking her what she wanted, and he wanted, they both still see other people. He thought it was too early to decide. She had no intention to jump the gun. In this day of age, people dated, fucked, and they form primary and secondary relationships. She’s been in all of these situations. Monogamy is out of question for a new budding romance, though at some point down the road, it always becomes a topic of discussion.
The only safe distance she could keep is one that she’s kept for years. Emotionally distant, extremely witty, and sarcastic. A man who adores her and finds her both sexy and interesting. She wants to multiply the number of men by 4. At which point, she may or may not decide. But if history is any indication, the moment she decides, they turn on her. They all turn on her. They want everything from her, but when she has given them her heart, they abandon her. Abandonment is a lifetime disease she suffers. Like Meniere’s Disease and low iron.
Before she left he gave her a box of tea. He knew she had been looking for good quality tea to make home brew kombucha with, so he went to fetch tea for her. He was very considerate that way, always one step ahead of her. He wanted to make her happy. She knew that now.
She has no cure for feeling abandoned. So she leaves before she’s attached. She dishes out feelings sparingly. She suffers her heartache silently. When she recovers, the past has been erased. She rises from ashes like a phoenix, each time a different color like the leprechaun, unrecognizable to everyone. She’s great at reinventing herself, each time a new story, each time a new twist, each time a heart breaks, pray it’s not hers.
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