I See Sunset, I see Sunrise, I see you

I see sunset, I see sunrise, I used to love you, I love you still, and I will always love you.

But I don’t want to be with you. Nothing mundane should be between us. We’d never leave the house if we were cooped indoors. I need you inside of me always. This is the only love I have ever known, but we’d suffocate and we’d die out of distain and disgust from each other if we stayed together. 

I used to cry. I told you why I cried because I want to be with you, now and forever. I wanted a future with you, being with you was and is the only thing that made sense to me. But you don’t want me this way. I was not happy that way. The longing and the disappointment. I also learned, that I could not live without you. 

A compromise, sobering decision was made on my part. I shall see you when I see you. I shall only see you when you could no longer stand being separate from me. I shall then say yes, and I shall never ask when to be seen again.

You invented games, games only I’d enjoy. You videoed us, videos that could not be shown to others. Videos only the most perverse people in the world would enjoy, and then some. Those were things that were private between us. You thought carefully, and you sought ways to entice me and to keep me.

You were agitated. You were tense. You were stressed. Then you relaxed because you said that you’d see me. That made you happy, peaceful, and calm. You felt the same way I used to feel when I was about to see you.

You told me that you knew me because we’d been together for a long time. A LONG TIME. Time was defined by relativity. It was the only sexual relationship that outlasted others, others I played with but I was bored. You played with others but you were bored. They came in and out of your life, only I was consistent to you and  you were consistent to me.

In the room:

• A metal shiny doggie bowl
• Chain
• Rope, white nautical rope
• leash
• Spanking wooden paddle
• Video camera

Strip naked. On fours. Leashed. Crawl. Pissing in the bowl. Licking it up. Bathed in his warm piss. Choked. Muffled. Forced. 

When play was over. Cuddled. Made-love like you and I just met.

He researched so that she could follow his lead. He was learning to be a master and she was to be a slave. 

That dynamic works because it was the only one that she knew how to manage her feelings without her feelings getting hurt.

Romance kills everything. Romance introduces mundane. Romance strips both raw. Romance kills romance.

I see sunset, I see sunrise. One year in the same hotel, after you’d left I was in the room, the opposite side of the hall, watching the sunset, alone. I wondered if you’d come back to me. I did not need to wonder any more. You always come back to me. We saw sunrise this time, in the same hotel, together we watched the sun rising from the east. It was lovely that morning. I did not ask when I’d see you again. I know we’d meet again.

It is the only love that I know. 

#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#san francisco stories#love stories#BDSM#master and slave