When you are introduced by the man you are seeing, to his friends. Not just any friends, but good friends, the worlds collide.
It's just one of those things, it happens.
Here I was, and there you were, and there he was, your friend, a good looking man, which under normal circumstance, I'd flirt and be attracted to. But he's your friend, and I'm the one you are banging, and your friend knows it now, putting a name to a face.
He proceeded to speak to me, about his photography, his video and about Ocean Beach where he shot the video.
I remembered once I was playing there, by the Ocean Beach with a boy. He was not the love of my life, but years later he'd come into my life and break my heart as a man.
I told him about a mystical place I swam recently, the steam reminded me of his photos. They were not steam, they were waves that hovered over rocks. He started to tell me about how he shot the video, in what interval. I was slightly intrigued by it, but then you came to the room, surveying, and wanting to make sure that my presence was meant for you, and you only. Not even your best friend should deserve my time.
But I had to leave. I didn't like the worlds collide. I wanted to maintain distance and be invisible. That's why for men I sleep with I do'n't have them on FaceBook. They should remain anonymous. I should not need to have FB to keep tabs on them. I was too cool for that.
I wanted anonymity, irregularity, I was fine, finally, about lack of ending, lack of planning. I was good with everything being episodic, so every encounter could be epic. I wanted epic stories. I was tired of mundane. I was no longer in search of meaning, the meaning of faithfulness and devotion was thrown out of the window when love ended.
I had to leave. He was disappointed. He wanted to talk more about his shooting techniques.
But I did not have the tendency to linger. I knew my place. I needed to leave before you were tired of me.
We knew when we'd see each other. No need to be reminded of the inevitable.
The inevitability that this should end.
Before the worlds collided. I was living in my own planet, my own world, you did not exist, he did not exist, and the man who would come into my life and break my heart, did not exist.
I was fine the way it was. I was fine.
It's just one of those things, it happens.
Here I was, and there you were, and there he was, your friend, a good looking man, which under normal circumstance, I'd flirt and be attracted to. But he's your friend, and I'm the one you are banging, and your friend knows it now, putting a name to a face.
He proceeded to speak to me, about his photography, his video and about Ocean Beach where he shot the video.
I remembered once I was playing there, by the Ocean Beach with a boy. He was not the love of my life, but years later he'd come into my life and break my heart as a man.
I told him about a mystical place I swam recently, the steam reminded me of his photos. They were not steam, they were waves that hovered over rocks. He started to tell me about how he shot the video, in what interval. I was slightly intrigued by it, but then you came to the room, surveying, and wanting to make sure that my presence was meant for you, and you only. Not even your best friend should deserve my time.
But I had to leave. I didn't like the worlds collide. I wanted to maintain distance and be invisible. That's why for men I sleep with I do'n't have them on FaceBook. They should remain anonymous. I should not need to have FB to keep tabs on them. I was too cool for that.
I wanted anonymity, irregularity, I was fine, finally, about lack of ending, lack of planning. I was good with everything being episodic, so every encounter could be epic. I wanted epic stories. I was tired of mundane. I was no longer in search of meaning, the meaning of faithfulness and devotion was thrown out of the window when love ended.
I had to leave. He was disappointed. He wanted to talk more about his shooting techniques.
But I did not have the tendency to linger. I knew my place. I needed to leave before you were tired of me.
We knew when we'd see each other. No need to be reminded of the inevitable.
The inevitability that this should end.
Before the worlds collided. I was living in my own planet, my own world, you did not exist, he did not exist, and the man who would come into my life and break my heart, did not exist.
I was fine the way it was. I was fine.
No comments:
Post a Comment