When she laid on the floor finishing up her last fifteen minutes of yoga, she went to those places and she cried. When the lights were turned back on, she found her tears streaming down.
She's depressed and sad. Nothing to do about that. She was sad and depressed because for four years now he would not go away. The man who started all.
That man who was not her boyfriend but pretended to be for a long time, disappeared and reentered into her life like he belonged there. She did not know what to say so she did not say anything at all.
The man who she adored. The man who traded messages with her every day, the man who said "Good night Ms. V" every night to her on message. The man she began to care for. Lived alone all his life. And wanted her in.
He trimmed his beard. He now had shorter beard, a goatee. She liked it. He looked good. He grew his beard for her, for three months he did not shave. But he trimmed it now. He did not want to feel so uncomfortable any more.
He asked if she was interested in meeting his friends. She did not answer.
He wanted to know what they had was, and where they were headed. She offered no response.
She told him that she believed that she deserved no happiness, from a man, and no one would ever love her in a way she wanted to be loved back. When she said that she cried. She was heart broken for so long, no real relationship could make any sense to her any more.
She did not know what she had with this man, she only knew he made her happy. He was the first man who came along in her life who wanted to hold her to sleep. Who cared about her and who took care of her.
She made dinner for him. She went out with him. She planned a get away with him.
She really wanted to move on.
Even though her heart is so broken that it's beyond repair. She wanted to feel loved again.
But she feels like a fraud. "No one would love me. I don't deserve to be loved. I will never love or be loved again." She told this man. This man who was holding her to sleep every night.
In that child pose she lay, he hugged her all night.
She's depressed and sad. Nothing to do about that. She was sad and depressed because for four years now he would not go away. The man who started all.
That man who was not her boyfriend but pretended to be for a long time, disappeared and reentered into her life like he belonged there. She did not know what to say so she did not say anything at all.
The man who she adored. The man who traded messages with her every day, the man who said "Good night Ms. V" every night to her on message. The man she began to care for. Lived alone all his life. And wanted her in.
He trimmed his beard. He now had shorter beard, a goatee. She liked it. He looked good. He grew his beard for her, for three months he did not shave. But he trimmed it now. He did not want to feel so uncomfortable any more.
He asked if she was interested in meeting his friends. She did not answer.
He wanted to know what they had was, and where they were headed. She offered no response.
She told him that she believed that she deserved no happiness, from a man, and no one would ever love her in a way she wanted to be loved back. When she said that she cried. She was heart broken for so long, no real relationship could make any sense to her any more.
She did not know what she had with this man, she only knew he made her happy. He was the first man who came along in her life who wanted to hold her to sleep. Who cared about her and who took care of her.
She made dinner for him. She went out with him. She planned a get away with him.
She really wanted to move on.
Even though her heart is so broken that it's beyond repair. She wanted to feel loved again.
But she feels like a fraud. "No one would love me. I don't deserve to be loved. I will never love or be loved again." She told this man. This man who was holding her to sleep every night.
In that child pose she lay, he hugged her all night.
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