"Send a few photos."
"I'll send a couple."
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Golf on Saturday. Then I have to pack. Mostly clothes. Euros, cables and charging units."
"How many women do you have?"
"I have women friends. No one I'm intimate with."
"Why not?"
"Don't know."
"How did you end the last relationship?"
"Just got tired. Not excited about it any more."
"Did you or did she end it?"
"I did. I just said no."
"How did she take it?"
"She was not happy. But there isn't anything we can do."
"Are you still married?"
"Separated."
"I'm married."
"You are barely. Technically maybe."
"You must meet women all the time."
"I do. I meet them often."
"How did you meet her?
"On a plane."
"Nice. How often did you see each other?"
"Maybe twice a week."
"Maybe that's too often."
"It just did not do it for me. Plus I'm busy. Work. Children. Social events."
"Yes I know you are busy."
"How did I do?"
"You did well. Better."
"I no longer have to pretend."
"You never had to pretend. People only pretend because they are worried about what people think of them. You did not have to worry."
"I was worried. I didn't want to be viewed as a slut."
"You and I both know you are not sexually inexperienced."
"But I did not want you to think that I was TOO experienced."
"Now we know."
"Now we do."
"I am thinking to give them walking papers. I'm bored."
"You should if you are bored."
"I'm tired of saying yes. I'm tired of asking when. I'm tired of them. I'm more excited about seeing my girlfriends."
"Where do I go from here?"
"Only you know."
"When are you going to retire?"
"In three years."
"Then what?"
"Don't know. But I don't want to work in the corporate world anymore. Golf? Charity? House in Ireland?"
"You should visit me in France. We can swap houses."
"Maybe."
"Want to go kiddo?"
"Sure."
"Have a good trip."
"Thanks."
"I want to see you when you get back."
"I know you do."
"I want to be the person you are intimate with."
"It's my goal."
"I know."
The world isn't black and white. It is not even gray. You think this is finished, but it is not. You think you are over something, someone, but you are not. The only thing that is for certain in life is death. They say longing is just love not realized. But what if you no longer can afford longing, then what do you have left? We put ourselves out there, to be loved, to love, to expect a change that would make ourselves whole, but what if all of that was just a way to mask what we fear the most, the loneliness and the fear of no one would love us the way we want to be loved? What if you knew that you could love the person and give it a go, but no one, not even he believes you any more? What then?
"I'll send a couple."
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"Golf on Saturday. Then I have to pack. Mostly clothes. Euros, cables and charging units."
"How many women do you have?"
"I have women friends. No one I'm intimate with."
"Why not?"
"Don't know."
"How did you end the last relationship?"
"Just got tired. Not excited about it any more."
"Did you or did she end it?"
"I did. I just said no."
"How did she take it?"
"She was not happy. But there isn't anything we can do."
"Are you still married?"
"Separated."
"I'm married."
"You are barely. Technically maybe."
"You must meet women all the time."
"I do. I meet them often."
"How did you meet her?
"On a plane."
"Nice. How often did you see each other?"
"Maybe twice a week."
"Maybe that's too often."
"It just did not do it for me. Plus I'm busy. Work. Children. Social events."
"Yes I know you are busy."
"How did I do?"
"You did well. Better."
"I no longer have to pretend."
"You never had to pretend. People only pretend because they are worried about what people think of them. You did not have to worry."
"I was worried. I didn't want to be viewed as a slut."
"You and I both know you are not sexually inexperienced."
"But I did not want you to think that I was TOO experienced."
"Now we know."
"Now we do."
"I am thinking to give them walking papers. I'm bored."
"You should if you are bored."
"I'm tired of saying yes. I'm tired of asking when. I'm tired of them. I'm more excited about seeing my girlfriends."
"Where do I go from here?"
"Only you know."
"When are you going to retire?"
"In three years."
"Then what?"
"Don't know. But I don't want to work in the corporate world anymore. Golf? Charity? House in Ireland?"
"You should visit me in France. We can swap houses."
"Maybe."
"Want to go kiddo?"
"Sure."
"Have a good trip."
"Thanks."
"I want to see you when you get back."
"I know you do."
"I want to be the person you are intimate with."
"It's my goal."
"I know."
The world isn't black and white. It is not even gray. You think this is finished, but it is not. You think you are over something, someone, but you are not. The only thing that is for certain in life is death. They say longing is just love not realized. But what if you no longer can afford longing, then what do you have left? We put ourselves out there, to be loved, to love, to expect a change that would make ourselves whole, but what if all of that was just a way to mask what we fear the most, the loneliness and the fear of no one would love us the way we want to be loved? What if you knew that you could love the person and give it a go, but no one, not even he believes you any more? What then?
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