Pursued and Pursuing

At some point in a woman's life, it becomes clear that there are two types of men. The ones who do nothing because they think they have you where they want you and the ones who will do anything to get your attention.

There are times those people change positions.

There was this man whom I adored once. Then something happened. He was starting to treat me like crap. I got very upset. Yelled at him, sort of, if you count a passionate accusatory email count. I told him to fuck off. He returned in a few months. He was nice and cordial and treated me with respect. He will not make a promise that he cannot keep. He used to cancel on me all the time. I finally said, enough is enough. You obviously don't give a shit about me. Fuck off.

He was quiet for several weeks. When he came back, he's sensitive and nice and he starts to treat me with respect. He would only make a plan if he plans to keep it. He responds to my text timely. He becomes more sensitive to how he treats me. I am still in his life. I don't know what our platonic relationship will take us.

There was this other man whom I adored once. I got very upset with him once. There was definitely a moment where I thought fuck off was an understatement. Then one day we resolved our differences. He likes me just fine. He still wants me. But we stay platonic. I get his notes from messengers from time to time.

A man I met at an airport. Never really had much to say to him but he was pleasant enough. We met a coupe of months ago and he pretty much messages me every day and finally he tried to call me. I did not pick up his call. I finally did recently. He was happy and he wanted to know when I was heading to Paris again. He's a cute Parisian who met me as I was looking for the loo at Charles De Gaulle, and he was there and he wanted to be with me and to see me again. I have not done anything, other than just exchanging a few messages here and there.

A man I virtually met on a food review site. He wanted to be my friend after reading my review on a food site. He was infatuated with me. He had a huge following. He was once upon a time famous for being famous, and good looking because he was also a model and an actor. He checks in with me once a week. He is to come and see me tomorrow in San Francisco. Offered to give me ride for happy hour. I told him that I just returned from Scandinavia. I said that I was jet lagged. He was getting upset with me once because I stood him up. He was sending me these nasty emails until I told him to shut the fuck off and dropped off the face of earth. Now he is nice to me and tread carefully. He is nice because he knows that I cannot be crossed.

I am usually the nicest person. I am nice and agreeable to those who I adore and care for. I bend backwards. But once I turn, once there is no turning back, once I decide that I do not give a rats ass about how they feel about me,  I turn into the ice cold bitch. I will let my opinion known to them. I am ready to walk away.

I think C knows that side of me, I've been nice to C because he's been transparent with me and he has not mistreated me. I am superior to him. But I'm willing to let everything go if he ever pisses me off.

I have never gotten upset with E. He does not seem to register in my radar, yet he and I get along the best.

I don't know what to say to B. I think my bitchy side will scare B permanently. But part of me think one day, if he pisses me off enough I will go off, and there will not be any turning back, period.

Until then I will coast, and live day by day.