In a moment of not thinking, I'd asked two men to go with me to a clothes optional retreat up north. I've been there a few times. With women or men, always naked never had any sexual intrigues. But two men?!
One straight one bi. Straight man does not want to have a threesome with me and another man. Only with another woman. Straight man is very close to me, though no sexual relationship ever happened between us. I had a tendency to separate the two. I can't have sex and be a real friend to someone. I have to let one die down before becoming someone's true friend.
As a friend I'm loyal, incredibly caring, loving, and I give a lot. As a lover I'm mysterious, sensitive and incredibly fragile. To some people I'm a total bitch, to others I'm the most agreeable person. My girlfriends get so confused. They don't know how I could create two completely separate personas and live in them as if I have always been two separate people. Opposite people.
For the bi man, I'm the biggest bitch. I go through my emotions. I yell I cry and I laugh like there is no tomorrow. He knows my moods and let me. Sometimes I'm pissed at him and other times I cry with joy and tell him I love him until death do us part.
For the straight man, he adores me. I can be a bitch too but he's so kind, loving, and is always there for me. He was very cautious at first but now we are inseparable, like brother and sister.
I would have Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year dinner with him. He will tell me all of his dating stories.
I would give him mine as well. We know each other very well. We are supportive of each other.
For both of them, they all love and adore me. They know my stories. They do not pass judgment though they think I'm out of my mind for having fallen for B. They think I can do so much better. They want to help me to find a man to replace B with.
Well, they got that in common. Both were born and raised in the northeast. Both were educated in the east coast. Both moved here. Both are super protective of me. Both talk to me on texts and fb a lot.
But I don't fuck them. I don't and can't. They are my real friends. Unlike B, who exits and enters my life as if he never left or never existed. It's a weird dynamic.
I have not booked lodging. I guess we will see!
One straight one bi. Straight man does not want to have a threesome with me and another man. Only with another woman. Straight man is very close to me, though no sexual relationship ever happened between us. I had a tendency to separate the two. I can't have sex and be a real friend to someone. I have to let one die down before becoming someone's true friend.
As a friend I'm loyal, incredibly caring, loving, and I give a lot. As a lover I'm mysterious, sensitive and incredibly fragile. To some people I'm a total bitch, to others I'm the most agreeable person. My girlfriends get so confused. They don't know how I could create two completely separate personas and live in them as if I have always been two separate people. Opposite people.
For the bi man, I'm the biggest bitch. I go through my emotions. I yell I cry and I laugh like there is no tomorrow. He knows my moods and let me. Sometimes I'm pissed at him and other times I cry with joy and tell him I love him until death do us part.
For the straight man, he adores me. I can be a bitch too but he's so kind, loving, and is always there for me. He was very cautious at first but now we are inseparable, like brother and sister.
I would have Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year dinner with him. He will tell me all of his dating stories.
I would give him mine as well. We know each other very well. We are supportive of each other.
For both of them, they all love and adore me. They know my stories. They do not pass judgment though they think I'm out of my mind for having fallen for B. They think I can do so much better. They want to help me to find a man to replace B with.
Well, they got that in common. Both were born and raised in the northeast. Both were educated in the east coast. Both moved here. Both are super protective of me. Both talk to me on texts and fb a lot.
But I don't fuck them. I don't and can't. They are my real friends. Unlike B, who exits and enters my life as if he never left or never existed. It's a weird dynamic.
I have not booked lodging. I guess we will see!
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