Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Three friends

I have three platonic guy friends.

A: A and I communicate at least once a day, sometimes more and sometimes less. He moved away but still texts and message and call. He called tonight. To tell me about his new life and his new adventures. I told him about mine. Nothing too personal, just the basics. He's looking forwards to seeing me in a couple of weeks when I go down to visit him and other friends. He wants what's best for me. He also wants to make sure that I'm doing okay emotionally. A is excited to see me and drive me around in his new car.

N: N and I talk on messenger nearly daily. Ever since a couple of years ago we've been friends he's been dependent on me being his one and only female friend whom he's never been involved with. I like talking to him and seeing him but it is a bit up and down too much of a real thing kind of friendship. But I like him. I think he's perfect. I don't know why he's not married with kids.

M: M called. He's back from Austin. I've known him for 20 years. He is very eccentric. I say that because he's very wealthy. He told me that he's dating three or four girls after he and his girlfriend broke up six months ago. She dumped him and therefore he's heart broken. I think he's a weirdo, and the only reason women date him is that he's very good looking, smart and incredibly wealthy and he's 42 and ready to get married. I doubt that he will get married because he's too much of a weirdo. He was interested in my trip to Harbin. We both have a thing for being nude in public. I told him that I went with N and it's all very fun but very very platonic. It's hard to understand why so many people are so hung up with nudity. I love being nude and seeing others nude. It just feels so liberating.

I don't know why I have so many platonic guy friends. I suppose the reason is that I'm laid back and non demanding. I treat men differently depending on my involvement with them. I don't judge. I connect with male friends the same way I connect with my girlfriends. I treat them the same and in turn they like me. The only time I get weird out about it is when there is a physical component, and emotional component. If I'm just interested in someone physically it's easy, it's the emotional part that requires some work.

I think I'm better at it now. I want to stop feeling and start taking things lightly. If I'm running crisis, I'd go to A and N for emotional support. I can also count on M but I cannot rely on the person who I'm emotionally and physically involve with. I's the only way to separate the two selves. One genuine, real and brave, the other fantasy based and non sustainable.

I suppose this is what happens when one's heart is completely broken and then repaired. You look at things from a different perspective, and nothing is what it used to be.

And you move on. It's not because that person cheated on you (I can careless about monogamy), it's when you no longer believes that the person deeply cares and loves you. So you move on. And these friends are the only ones you can count on.

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