What does it take

It is possible that in life you get one opportunity to experience the gut wrenching, heart pounding love. That is - if you are lucky. No matter where we are outside of the bedroom, in a sexual dynamic, women want to be taken against her will by men who overpower them. This asymmetrical relationship runs at the core of it all. Men expect women to be enthusiastic about what they want them to do and love every moment of it. B and I, no matter what we do and where we are at in our lives, I just want to please him and he wants to explore the boundaries. It was as if I was born to please him. it was that simple. Men need to take charge. There should not be any hesitation as to what they want to do to the women. Women should give whatever they can to please men. 

If you have that in place in your relationship, then sex would be great no matter what.

For me that was exactly how I was with B. But I could not do that with others. In part I did not respect them enough and in part I didn't feel the same level of chemistry. It was clear that B wanted all of that from the beginning with me and I liked it because he was very interested in being the dominant one. I was always the submissive one with him and I liked to please him. 

At some point it became clear to me that the boundary could be pushed further as he takes on even a more aggressive role in our relationship. I enjoyed that more than anything else. I also found that his attitude towards me changed as I asserted myself in his life. It was as if he did not mind if I persistently asked to be seen, rather than feeling shy and uncertain about us, I took on a more proactively role in establishing myself in his life. I wanted him to know that not only I wanted him, but also I needed to be with him, physically, it was important to stay connected and bonded. I absolutely needed him in my life to feel like a woman. The more submissive I was to be with him, the more assertive I was at work. That I knew. 

What I don't know is that if and when that would end, what I would become.